How to be a criminal

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Westboro Baptist Circus is planning to go to Norway, to "protest" at children's funerals.

Hate speech is illegal in Norway.

Westboro could go to jail.

A friend on Facebook hopes jail in Norway is some dismal gulag, like the Soviet Union. But it's not; you'll see, further down.

At which point, I said, I'm going to Norway to commit a crime.

And my friend, a journalist, who's very not criminal, is surfing for airline tickets to Norway.

So, I figured I'd better find her some information on how to be a criminal:

 

Is This the Luxury Prison the Norway Gunman Could Call Home?

• Posted on July 26, 2011 at 1:02pm by Christopher Santarelli
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Anders Behring Breivik, the Norwegian man accused in the bombing and shooting spree in the Oslo area that killed 76 people last week, could go to Norway’s Halden Fengsel prison, which is home to some of the country’s most vile criminals.
What does this prison look like? The Telegraph paints a picture:

“The jail is spread over 75 acres of woodland just outside Oslo and facilities include a sound studio, jogging trails and a two-bedroom house separate from the main facility where convicts can stay with their families during overnight visits.
Guards move around the prison unarmed and often play sports or eat meals with the men they are tasked with watching.”

The article goes on to point out that in this same prison rapists and murderers can partake in “kitchen laboratory” cooking classes, and can also always lounge in their state of the art cells with designer-style furniture and flat screen TVs.

Before possibly heading off to Camp Fengsel, the mass murdering Breivik is being held for at least the next eight weeks in complete isolation, unable to receive letters or visitors except his lawyer for the first four. While the prison system in Norway may seem a little harsh, Breivik is lucky to only have to face the Norwegian maximum prison sentence of 21 years.

“Speaking at the opening of the jail last year, governor Are Hoidal said: ‘In the Norwegian prison system, there’s a focus on human rights and respect.
We want to build them up, give them confidence through education and work and have them leave as better people.’”

The prison was built at a cost of $252million over ten years and was opened in April 2010 to house 248 inmates.